How I Overcame Loneliness and the Chaotic Confusion of Life
Two years ago, every day I woke up seemed to send me into a more profound state of confusion. Life looked like it had no direction. With every passing day, it kept getting worse.
I had dropped out of college. My friends had abandoned me. Loneliness was suddenly no longer a word — it was an emotion, my emotion. I was losing myself. I felt misguided. I had been betrayed by my partner (These are stories for some other time.)
Here is what my typical day’s schedule used to look like:
10 am — 1 pm: Wake up
12 am — 2 pm: Contemplate what to eat and end up eating nothing most of the times
2 pm — 6 pm: Waste time surfing the internet and playing games
7 pm — 8 pm: Order dinner (Thankfully this was the one thing that was always in place)
9 pm — 3 am: Eat, play games, sleep
When I look at that life of mine from where I am today, I look at two things:
1. How messed up it was.
2. How important it was!
It was messed up for various obvious reasons.
But, let me tell you why such a chaotic life of mine was necessary to get me where I am today:
At the back of my mind, I had a feeling that the state I was in wasn’t the kind of life that I wanted for the rest of my journey. But, after being a victim of that experience, I KNEW FOR SURE that it’s not what I wanted.
If I come to think of it, that was one of the most important phases of my life because that is when I had the most time to myself. I could imagine. I could wonder, and I could explore.
Chaos is a building agent if you allow it to become one.
Our minds are naturally designed to solve problems. But what we tend to do is to shut that problem solver inside and focus more on the issue.
There was a time when I started thinking that I wouldn’t be able to get anywhere in my life. I would end up being just another brick in the wall. I slapped myself a few times and so, began my search for inspiration.
That’s when I stumbled upon this movie called “Begin Again.” The film was enjoyable, but what had the impact was the title.
I decided to make “Beginning again” the way I went about living.
I stopped focusing on all the failures of my past and my present and started focusing on the solutions to all the problems I had.
I brought about small changes to my schedule like waking up 30 minutes early and eating on time after which I started seeing huge impacts on my growth.
Now, the chaos, it was still there, but soon I could see clearly what the mess was all about. I got to this realization that changed my life:
Confusion is only a sign that your mind is active and thinking, trying to figure out ways to bring tranquility.
I started picking out one thing at a time from the chaos and started trying them. If I felt like joining a cricket coaching class, I did. If I felt like starting a restaurant, I did. I tried so many things that I have a definite idea in my mind about all the things that “I DO NOT WANT”.
And that, I believe is priceless to know.
97% of the world is confused and the rest 3% are lying.
You need to know that it is entirely rational and you are not alone.
I will finish by giving you a straightforward exercise to comprehend and tackle this chaos:
Take a 10-minute break from your day and sit in complete isolation and focus. Let the thoughts flow, do not try to control them. Stop as soon as you find an actionable idea and try to do as much about that within 60 seconds.
For example — whatever thought you get, try to figure out the when/where/how.
And if you get a thought that is practical, feasible, and something that gives you joy, waste no time in making that a reality.
Slowly but surely, you will see your life change for the better, and you will find yourself falling in love with this beautiful phenomenon called life.
